Living Vicariously

Its strange. This is my first year in four years without having track or cross country. I never thought that I would miss it as much as I do. Especially thinking way back to my first practice. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was a long and hot run, and all I could think about throughout the entire practice was how I was going to tell my dad and my coach that I was going to quit. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stick with it. But here I am, 4 years later, and appreciating it more now than I ever did back in high school. I find myself watching our cross country video very often, trying to relive the glory days of my running career. Its not just the running that I miss. I mean, if I really missed running that much I could just go on my own...but I don't go as often as I should. What I really miss is the people and the competition. The ability to push my self in order to get a personal best. Its a tough sport, but in being so tough it helps to draw all the competitors together over the common task of conquering it. I often talk to other people who are still running to see how they are progressing but more often than not, it makes me feel worse about not running. I really miss the team aspect of running and being able to see everyone progress. One way in which I am trying to regain this is by doing something called River2Sea. River2Sea is a 92 mile 7 person relay race across the state of New Jersey which myself and 6 of my friends participated in last summer. It was one of the most challenging, and yet satisfying experiences of my life, and we are planning to do it again this summer. For those short months of practice before hand, week of preparation, and one day of the race I am able to relive my experiences as a runner in high school; the satisfaction of accomplishment, as well as the pain of physical endurance. But still, this does not completely replace the large team and season of track and cross country. Don't get me wrong, its a lot of fun to go to practices and be welcomed as if I was a hero simply because I was a graduate. But I would much rather be those kids in awe of an old runner, than the old runner himself. I tell myself that the teams accomplishments now are partially based on my peers and myself struggling for 4 years to bring the team to a higher level, though that may not be the case. Those 4 years of being on the track and cross country teams went by way too fast, though the running itself seemed to last for an eternity.